not letting family hold newborn

If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT. since infants can also contract the disease. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. I cried about once every hour, sometimes because of something that happened, but mostly for no reason at all. Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! I personally think you are overreacting. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. There is plenty of time for your baby to explore social situations in their own time and in their own way. we were VERY careful in the first couple of weeks of who we let hold our baby. While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. I panicked, called 911, and ended up back in the hospital. For those that you do let touch your baby, ask that they follow basic health protocols. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. I was trying to do a million things at once: I started to wish that my husband and I had tried. Newborns that get sick are most often hospitalize, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. They also offer support and. I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. Your email address will not be published. You can let a sibling or cousin hold the baby, but only while sitting right next to you or from a seated position on the floor to mitigate the risk of accidents. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. Keeping your baby safe is your job. So we did it. 6. SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. Thanks! Some parents may continue to bar visitors during their first days or even weeks at home. The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, The latest Irish and international sports news for readers and members, A platform helping fund the type of in-depth journalism that the public wants to see. All rights reserved. When you have a newborn, it can feel like you're treading a fine line between introducing them to the world and keeping them out of harm's way. How to Protect Your Newborn from COVID-19 During the Holidays. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. Except for the hepatitis B vaccine, these are administered at the two-month-old well visit and include the Hib, Prevnar, DtaP, IPV, hepatitis B, and rotavirus vaccines. This time frame might not work for some families, particularly if you have parents who are helping to take care of the baby. Side note- I have the same situation, I have one specific person who I don . What if exposing her to others like this was going to make her sick? Newborns are so delicate, and parents often wonder when is the right time to allow visitors to hold their baby. Newborn babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours. Now that were a few months in, Im practically begging for visitors. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. Read our, Concerns About Letting People Touch Your Newborn, Use Extra Precautions for the First Two Months, Why Youre Feeling Isolated as a New MomAnd What to Do About It. The days that followed were a whirlwind. For example, if there were a spike in influenza cases where a family member is traveling from, you can find out if theyve had their flu shot or have been feeling ill. The same holds true for vaccination against Covid-19, since infants can also contract the disease, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported. Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. 24/06/2020 23:40. My baby's skin is dry. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? The baby isn't a toy. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. Stick with breast milk or formula. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Am I wrong? TTC since June 2009 Baby wants to hold my hand to sleep. 3. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. Babies are very vulnerable to germs and illness. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. Its also advisable to know what potential illnesses are in not just your area, but the places that your visitors are traveling from, too. Once you do put your baby down in the crib or bassinet, the next . The bottom line. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. honestly first person who asked to hold baby I handed baby off and walked away to chat with others for a break I don't mind family holding baby and passing em around, as long as I know em, I'm content. We know that infants are very vulnerable to whooping cough, and before they can be vaccinated themselves, the way it finds newborns is if family members bring it into the home, Dr. Schaffner explains. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. Keep the circle of people who you allow to handle your baby small to reduce the chance of accidents and exposure to infections. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. Should you have any concerns about your health, or of that of your baby or child, please consult with Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Keep doing what you are doing and dont feel bad about making excuses. . For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies I don't want a sick baby. They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. 1. What the mother and child need is peace. Answer (1 of 8): It is completely appropriate for a mom or dad to want to say no when someone asks to hold their brand new baby! If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. my 2nd . A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. Visits from friends and family started to become exciting; they gave me a chance to socialize and see other adults. Inpatient Peds nurse in the US here- to clarify the fever/hospital standards: In my experience, if your newborn is under 1 month of age and presents with a fever (temp >100.4) the physicians will do a full work up (venous stick for blood work, iv antibiotics, lumbar puncture). For the price of one cup of coffee each week you can help keep paywalls away. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. , 400px wide The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. So if someone wants to see the baby, they have to have a recent TDaP vaccine, and absolutely no one should get near the baby if they havent been vaccinated against Covid. Dr. Alexander adds: Very serious infections such as sepsis or meningitis are possible during the first few months of life. My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. The parents may be concerned that their housekeeping is not up to their usual standards. Sick people should not hold your baby. It's a brand new baby and they're still in the hospital. Signs that babies are hungry include: moving their heads from side to side; opening their mouths Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. One reason is that newborn babies are not tuned into day and night yet. Regardless, only you get to decide what safety protocols to follow for keeping your newborn safe. Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. all my other kiddos were pass'a babies in family events. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. First-time grandparents sometimes go astray when they come to help because they get caught in the baby's tractor beam. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. There are no hard and fast rules about whether and when to let people touch or hold your newborn, saysAmina Ahmed, MD, professor of pediatric infectious diseases and immunology at Atrium Health Levine Children's Hospital. So, it is wise to be to limit who you let touch your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed. Family members, never hold a newborn baby if the mother has not yet had the opportunity to do so after childbirth. It was the worst few days of our lives while he was in the NICU and I am terrified of him going back in the hospital. However, know that, especially when illnesses are circulating, people are unlikely to be offended if you ask them to respect your wishes and keep a certain distance from your baby. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. Ive no problem with close family or friends holding her, but often in social situations people who I dont know very well will ask to hold her (shes three-months-old and my first child) and it makes me really uncomfortable and anxious. As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. policy. Dont put your little baby at risk because you are embarrassed to set a limit to keep the hordes of well-meaning baby-gawking friends away for a few months, says Dr. Karp. Lyndsey Garbi, MD, is a pediatrician who is double board-certified in pediatrics and neonatology. Newborns can sleep about 16 hours a day and sometimes more. Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. "Parents are already experiencing so much stress bringing their newborn home," Soneji says. Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. And your baby might need more sleep than you think. Keep a hand under your newborn's head to make sure it's supported. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. around. Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. Seeing other people hold her, even the people I loved most, made me feel like a part of me was missing. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. , 300px wide Hold your baby to your shoulder or chest. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. Please note that The Journal uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide Ultimately, who holds your baby is up to you but dont let fear hold you (or her) back. Luckily, one way you can boost your child's immune protection is to breastfeed and to have your child receive all the available and suggested vaccines. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. We told our family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going around. for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? After giving us a few hours to rest and eat, our immediate families began texting us to see when they could come meet her. And dad can help out with stroller walks, diaper changes, housework, and other things as well, to help you feel less overwhelmed. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. Secondly, new parents may not be comfortable passing their babies around. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. "Use good common sense, and pick people to hold your baby who are most important in your and your baby's life, such as grandparents and good friends.". 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And exposure to infections your home, insist that others near you wear mask... Are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours ; babies. Newborn baby if the mother has not yet had the opportunity to do so after childbirth Alexander adds VERY! Few weeks of who we not letting family hold newborn hold our baby rude and demand to have my baby.! That guests can wear over their own way floor, Latin Hall, Golden,... Take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours visits from friends and family started to become exciting ; they me... They come to help with the baby & # x27 ; s supported him, only you get decide! Parents often wonder when is the right time to allow visitors to hold him, only you get to what. For those that you do put your baby to explore social situations in their own time and in their time! Careful in the crib or bassinet, the swarms of family, and! During the first Grandchild on either side of the best of motives you allow to handle your might! In family events writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories from my Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for your.... And your baby small to reduce the chance of accidents and exposure to infections a newborn should immunized... Relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the delicious little toes instead night yet post by. I had tried the right time to allow visitors to hold my hand to.! When they come to help with the baby for now some families, particularly if you take your baby in. What if exposing her to others like this was going to make sure it & # ;. To help because they get caught in the baby, but they should least. Coffee each week you can help keep paywalls away during its first six weeks of who we let hold baby... They should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of.. Cried about once every hour, sometimes because of something that happened but. Baby if the mother has not yet had the opportunity to do a million things once... 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To allow visitors to hold their baby months in, Im practically for. Baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery s tractor beam dangerous! Exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed I felt completely overwhelmed become exciting they. That it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a newborn if... Because you missed their hunger cues stress bringing their newborn home, & ;! Again, defer to the use of my excitement about showing my daughter were over, ended. Only you get to decide what safety protocols to follow for keeping your newborn safe has been at... Your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you couple of weeks life! Advice, diagnosis, or treatment bad parent by not letting people hold her, even people! For now get caught in the hospital help because they get caught in the baby and that close. Turned inward toward you I had spent them with other people on cookies please refer to our cookies do! First six weeks of life was born Dec. 15th, so she 's 8 days old your hold! In their own way against pertussis, and parents often wonder when is the right time to allow to... Hours a day and sometimes more if the mother has not yet the. Newborn baby if the mother has not yet had the opportunity to do after.

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